Forever Shouldn't Wait
by madalyn.elaina
Summary: Her arms wrapped around her waist, unconsciously protecting herself and the child that was growing within her. She was frozen. When he finally looked at her, she could see the billowing regret and panic in his beautiful eyes. She backed away slowly, finally finding her ability to move. She held in her tears and ran. 7 years later. AU


_A/N I'm still not sure if I did my best with this one, so please let me know!_

_Mid December, 2006_

_It had felt like getting punched in the stomach while drowning at the same time, the combination was nearly enough to bring her to her knees. She had needed to return a book. It was a detour to go to the back and visit her favorite little study corner. She had been to the library so rarely lately, but she felt like she was home amongst the stacks, and going home had always felt right. At this moment she had needed the security. _

_This had been her place, where she practically live during her during her first two years of her undergrad. She giggled at the silliness as she rushed to her spot, hoping to find it unchanged in the midst of her ever changing life. _

_It's rather ironic though. She abandoned the place that had always protected her, the ideals she had always had, and parts of her personality that her family had always thought were quirky, but not lovable. Now this place, her spot had betrayed her; because here he was. His hand under someone else's shirt and his tongue down another womans throat. Her arms wrapped around her waist, unconsciously protecting herself and the child that was growing within her. _

_She was frozen. When he finally looked at her, she could see the billowing regret and panic in his beautiful eyes. She backed away slowly, finally finding her ability to move. She held in her tears and ran. _

_He chased her, but she now knew the truth. He had never really wanted her. He would never want them. So why chase her? The insecurities that she had only made her run faster. When she got to her dorm she ignored the pounding on her door. She ignored it even as she puked in the bathroom, ridding herself of the fake moments and untruths that had been what their relationship had been made of. _

_She ignored the calls of, 'April', and 'Let me explain', and she held back her tears at the 'I love yous''. She had never moved so quickly in her life. All she knew was that she was suffocating._

_The noise went away though, and eventually he left. So later that day she left like a thief sneaking away in the night. She packed her car and slept in the student parking section the science building once midnight hit. The security guards let it slide, the redhead had made them sandwiches regularly, they all loved April. She took her last final the next morning, praying that in the midst of everything that she would still pass. Her hands rarely leaving her stomach, her maternal instinct kicking in. _

_And then she drove away, she drove away without him, towards an uncertain future. The uncertainty is what was frightening her the most, only knowing that going back to Harvard the next term was not an option, knowing that telling Jackson was not an option. She drove out of Massachusetts with tears running down her face. The whisper of Jackson's name on her lips as she passed state lines. _

* * *

February, 2014

That day played for her as she stared into Gary Clark's gun, she thought of that day, and her daughter's giggle. Memories of Jackson still managed to feel raw. When staring at the barrell of a gun April saw her daughter and Jackson. So thats what came out of her mouth when she reached for her logic, when she wracked her brain for things she had heard about shooters.

"My-My name is April Kepner I, I am 26 years old. I was born on April 23. I am from Ohio. I was born in Columbus, Ohio. My mom is a teacher and my dad is a farmer. C-corn he grows corn. I have a daughter, Charlotte, Charlotte Catherine. She is 6, in third grade because she is so-so smart . I'm all she has, please she needs me. Please I'm a person. I'm a person." Tears were streaming down her face, and she was barely managing to stand still.

"Run"

Not pausing to look back she ran, but she knew the security plan for the hospital, she had briefly helped in administration when the hospitals merged. Doors were locked though, and she had no keys. She felt a hand pull on her wrist as she was abruptly pulled into a small office.

April took in her surroundings. Two of the hospitals notorious surgical residents were in the room,one was crying like a baby, and the other was bleeding out. Aprils nurturing instinct came over her and some how she was able to take control of the situation.

"Lexi, you need to keep pressure on the wound. Pull, yourself together. I need to get some supplies. He'll bleed out if we don't do something. Just breathe, you can do this" Lexi froze, staring at the redhead who she had, in recent history mocked. April dragged Lexi down next to Alex, and placed her hands on Alex's chest. When April was sure that Lexi could handle keeping her weight on Alex, she touched her clean hand to her face, smiled softly and nodded to her as she left the office.

She felt on edge as she left the room. The only thing she could do was get supplies. April wouldn't let herself think about Charlotte, who had been in daycare across the street. She wouldn't dwell on the fact that she had nearly died, and some of her last thoughts had been of Jackson. She was in and out of the supplies room, carrying as much as she could; she had to pray that it was enough.

When April returned to the duo she worked quickly and efficiently, not letting herself take even a moment of hesitation. Lexi helped when she could, but April found herself doing all she could do to save this man who had been nothing but an ass to her. To keep her calm April started to talk, "I'm really excited to watch this disney movie tonight. Frozen is what it's called. I remember seeing The Lion King in theater when I was younger and singing the songs for months. Once a week me and Charlotte have a date night, we rent a movie and eat spaghetti. No matter how busy I am we always manage to have our dates. I just know she will be a singer. This is the first musically movie we have done, I just know this will be payback for making my parents miserable."

"You have a kid?" Was all Lexi was able to contribute to the conversation. April nodded swiftly not even pausing in her continuous monologue.

Lexi just sat and listened, unable to do or say anything that would be remotely helpful. However April's next tangent of conversation shocked her. "It's okay to want to forgive him."

"What?"

"It's okay to want to forgive . I know it's none of my business, but considering that I almost got shot, I'm going to say it anyway. It's okay to want him back, it doesn't make you weak or pathetic. It makes you in love. And if he is willing to talk, then you might as well be willing to listen."

Lexi could only nod. April was surprised by her own words, she had never admitted out loud that she sometimes wanted to be with him again. She did however feel hypocritical considering that she never had given Jackson the chance. At least Lexi and Sloan had been on a break when he slept with someone else. She knew that the problem was deeper than that for this couple though. For Jackson she had simply been, not good enough. It had taken her a long time to be okay with that, but now that she was, she felt like their entire relationship could be rationalized. She, at least now, was content with the knowledge. And she was overjoyed with her daughter.

She did what she could that day, Alex was breathing and she had been able to control the bleeding. Considering with what she had to work with April felt at peace with what she had been able to do.

April was startled when Lexi grabbed her hand, and it took that touch for her to finally succumb to tears. Lexi had never really stopped, and so they cried together. They cried for those who were already gone. They cried for the families. They cried for the men they loved; one though who probably had no idea what was happening. Then they cried for each other. And they waited.

Lexi and April stayed side by side through their questioning. Through the interviews and the quick onsite checkups. They didn't want to let go of each other. To Lexi, April was strong and secure, and for April, being needed helped her feel grounded. When they were finally released they looked at each other April slung her arm around Lexis shoulders, "How does spaghetti sound?"

Lexi mustered up a small smile, "Spaghetti sounds great".

* * *

April, 2014

"Lexi, it's simple. You love him. He loves you. Say yes. Marry him, go back to the apartment you got together, have babies with him. You cannot sleep on my couch forever." They were having the conversation for what seemed like the thousandth time. Lexi hadn't really talked to Mark since after the shooting. She didn't exactly know how to even start that conversation.

"But Charlie will miss her Aunt Lexi. Plus you totally love having me here." Lexi stated, the excuse sounding weak to her own ears.

"Don't call her Charlie, but Lexi, you aren't happy without Mark. Besides Charlotte would really want to be in her Aunt Lexi's wedding," Aprils tone turned mocking towards the end.

It has surprised them both how quickly their friendship had came. They had both never had strong bonds with other females. Lexi, because she somehow, intimidated others, and April because of her awkwardness. Somehow though it worked. There was really no such thing as a taboo subject between them. Lexi knew everything about Jackson, well she knew that April had been cheated on, nothing else was needed during that confession; that didn't matter though. April was also aware of the crippling insecurity Lexi had when it came Mark Sloan.

"How about this, you tell the truth about your virginity to the group, then I talk to Mark. You tell them about Charlotte, and then I move out." Lexi felt she had gained the upper hand.

"Why do people keep thinking that I lied about the beach? Thats how it happened." April thought it was funny that everyone had become so worried about her sex life. It was a light topic at least. April didn't mind being the comic relief as long as kept up everyones spirits.

"Thats really how it happened?" Lexi asked incredulously, "What beach is there near Cambridge?"

"It was on a trip to the Bahamas. It was great. Oh, and me having a kid is nobodys business, so I would appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut, they already think I am a wimpy surgeon." Lexi rolled her eyes. April had given her that warning multiple times.

"You know I won't. I just don't understand, it's not like she's ugly or anything. I mean your baby daddy must have been beautiful." April smirked at Lexi's comment.

"It's the eyes, and the skin." Charlotte was gorgeous, she some how got the best of both her and Jackson. She was perfect. April decided to change the topic as they walked from her car through the doors of the hospital, "Do you think you will get cleared for surgery today?"

"I hope so, it's just me and Mer left. I am pretty sure I am stable again."

"You've been stable before?"

Lexi nudged her, "Nice, where did you get that? Middle school yearbook? Besides, no surgeon is really stable. You cut to country music."

"I like what I like. Besides I rarely get music privileges in the OR, I am a second year." A second year who was able to single handedly save one of their fellow residents in a dire circumstance, Lexi thought to herself. What made it worst was that no one really knew how good she was. April told her she didn't need anyone besides the police to know what happened in that room. As far as Alex knew, he was simply lucky.

"April, you're better than Yang. If anyone knew what really happened, you would be a legend. Are you considering trauma at all? You would be fabulous. And you are already Harper Avery material, plus you wouldn't have to do the stupid skills thing today. It was only supposed to be third years years, but Hunt is now making all residents do it because of the shooting," She was also supposed to be on Mark's service today.

"I never want to even be considered for a Harper Avery Award. They're pointless, you can't measure compassion, and you insult the very notion of healing by changing the motive of medicine. Besides skills lab will be fun, especially since you now have me in there with you." April responded as they congregated with the other surgical residents in their designated lab. Effectively diverting them from the name _Avery. _

Adrenaline was high for all of them as Hunt directed them to an ambulance bay. They divided themselves into teams, Alex and Meredith begrudgingly accepting the red headed second year.

It took them all a couple of hours to get into the swing of what was actually expected of them. Lexi struggled, Alex was pissed, Meredith was excused, and April thrived. She met Alex blow for blow when he got angry at her. Lexi was able to remain calm, and whenever April got the chance, she assisted.

Dummies died though, no matter how good they were at the moment, they were still losing patients. April decided that that was the point, and as a planner, she was able to treeage to the best of her ability, and April did her best to remain to steps ahead of her 'patients' condition.

Throughout the rainy night groups got eliminated, Lexi couldn't handle it and walked out., Alex was slightly less pissed-amused at Lexi's dramatic exit, and Aprils hands were study. It was a blur though, as Hunt's assistant moved to tell her that one of her patients was gone. She couldn't contain her need to prove to herself that saving Alex was not a fluke.

Aprils couldn't believe her own aggression towards Hunt, "Move, or I will run you down!."

Hijacking an ambulance was perhaps the coolest thing she had ever done, and if she still had a relationship with her sisters they would love to hear this story. They would never have thought that 'Duckie" was capable of this.

April shivered as she got out of the ambulance, meeting Karev and Hunt at the doors of the hospital. She breathed deeply, knowing that she not only proved the point to herself, but to the men before her.

She opened her mouth, ready to apologize for her over enthusiasm, but was cut off by the sound of clapping next to her.

April turned and froze, "What are you doing here?"Not the most graceful delivery, she could kick herself; she was so not mature enough for this.

Jackson had to smile at the way her tendency to blurt things out hadn't changed. He didn't know she would be here. He wouldn't deny that he was ecstatic about this development though. He would now have a chance to grovel, to fight for the chance to win her trust back. If they had been alone, he would have already started. Jackson was resolved. He would get her back, he would be better.

"He is here to start his Fellowship in cardiac surgery, we have him straight from Mayo Clinic. He has done some great work there while in an accelerated program. He wanted a change of scenery though." Hunt interjected, unaware of the tension that had developed. "Do you two know each other?"

April found her voice, cutting Jackson off from however he had planned to respond, "I think we had a couple of lectures together when we were at Harvard. Right ?" He nodded in response and managed a small smile to Hunt.

"Well, sorry about the ambulance thing , it won't happen again. I need to go make sure Lexi is alright though, if you'll excuse me," She was jogging out of the rain before she even heard Owen's reply.

Alex looked at the newcomer, "Avery as in, Harper Avery?"

Jackson nodded, "He is my grandfather." His tone did not invite any more questions from the resident. April had ran away, it might not have been obvious to the others, but to him it felt like a stab in the heart.

"Cool, does that mean that we won Hunt?"

"It wasn't a contest, but yes you and Kepner are now our only Trauma Certified residents, congratulations. Avery let's get down and set you up in admin." He pulled gestured to the hospital lobby and gave a small tour of what was around them.

Before they made it to the elevator they heard a familiar high pitched voice scolding someone, " . You need to get over yourself. You need to go into that on call room and you need to tell her exactly what she needs to here. She told you she loves you, now man up and do something before she finds someone who will."

April knew that it was a lie. She could excuse it though considering that she had found her best friend crying about the attending. Also, jealousy was always a great motivator. Mark was surprised at the usually soft spoken red head, he nodded like a disciplined child and went into the nearest on call room. Mark knew that she had been right. Lexi wouldn't wait for him forever.

She didn't miss the grin Jackson shot to her as he went into the elevator. Now this she was not ready to deal with. She knew she would eventually have to talk to him, but she would worry about that tomorrow. For now April would return home and cuddle with her baby, unwilling to think about Charlotte's father.

* * *

8:00 a.m. April 23, 2014

"Welcome home , I trust is doing well," April couldn't contain her grin as her best friends new husband walked towards her. She needed cutting hours, and decided to pick up the extra day, thankful to be at the hospital but not on call.

"Mrs. Sloan is doing very well. Thank you very much. I see you're on my service, let's see if i can't sway you to plastics. From what I have heard, you're pretty set on trauma." Mark had finally known the full extent of what April had done for his bride, and he never felt so indebted to someone. He let out a loud laugh as she blushed at his indirect praise.

He put his hand on her shoulder and was the most genuine she had ever seen him when he said, "If you and Charlie ever need anything, just let us know. You're not alone anymore." April believed that there should be no secrets between man and wife, so she had given Lexi the okay to tell Mark anything she wanted him to know. She had thought it would be about the shooting rather than her daughter. It didn't bother her though.

"Thanks," She mumbled it softly, moved by the fact that they cared. They made their way to the nurses station to grab their charts. She smiled at the flower arrangement that was taking up counter space. They smelt as beautiful as they looked.

"Dr. Kepner would you like me to move there to the residents lounge for you?" One of the aides asked April. Before she could grab the note that was attached to the tulips, Mark swiped.

"April has a secret admirer… Lets see, 'Happy Birthday, you're still as beautiful as you were when we first met.' Its your birthday Kepner? Whoever sent you these did not have the courtesy to sign their name." April didn't need a name. She knew the handwriting. She pushed down the feelings of warmth that came up simply because he remembered.

"Actually Pam, you can put them in the interns breakroom, they could use a bit of color in there, thank you." She plastered a fake smile on to her face as Pam walked away. If Mark saw through it, he didn't say anything.

"So, do you have anything special planned for tonight?" Mark asked after finishing up their pre rounds.

"Nothing big for tonight, just Mac N' Cheese and cuddles; it will be great." Having people to talk to about her daughter w made her feel so joyful, simply being able to have people to talk to was a gift.

She smiled at his look of skepticism. "Really, it will be. If you want you and Lexi can join us. Charlotte misses having her around, and I am sure she would love to meet you. She loves people, which is something that she does not get from me."

"Was her dad a socially butterfly?" Mark wouldn't deny that he was more than a little curious. Everyone thought this girl was a virgin. It made him curious as to what kind of man had fathered her kid.

"Smooth Mark, and yes he was." April couldn't contain her eye roll.

"Why isn't he in the picture?" Mark hoped he wasn't overstepping his boundaries by asking her. When she was quiet he quickly said, "Sorry, I tend to be don't have to tell me."

"I never told him. He cheated on me and I was just so embarrassed. I couldn't say anything. It's only ever been me and her." April blurted it in a rush. Mark was about to respond when they saw the news. April couldn't hold in her breakfast so she leaned over the nearest trash can.

Mark Sloan's eyes were glued to the screen. _Shooting. Multiple wounded. Lone gunman. No sign of accomplices._

April snapped out of it first. She didn't even spare a glance at Mark when she ran for the ambulance bay_. _She hadn't been there quickly enough to help Reed, but she could be there now, she can help these patients. They were all silent as they filed out to await the ambulance, it was even more somber as addressed the group of surgeons.

Jackson watched as April hardened herself against what was to happen. She had always been emotional, it just sucked that this had to happen on her birthday of all days. He moved to stand next to her friend Lexi, hoping that she could give him some insight to who April was now. Unfortunately, he was caught off before by the first ambulance pulling up.

"Kepner, you're with me, Avery I need you to be on standby. He is top priority." Webber barked the order. April knew this cop. It was a first responder, a cop who had gave her priority status after the shooting.

April was the first to make a call, "Chief, I know that you want him awake, but this man needs to go straight to the OR. Jackson, it looks like we are going to need you to take care if this heart."

Everyone looked at her as she bypassed their old boss and moved with authority. Jackson immediately helped her with the gurney. Webber looked to the police, "I am sorry, but my first obligation needs to be to the patient." He ran after the attending and resident.

* * *

7:00 p.m. April 23, 2014

"Dr. Avery you can step out now. Kepner, are you ready to close?" Webber was exhausted. They had been in the OR for over six hours, and their victim had coded twice. If they had taken any longer to get him sedated, he wouldn't have had a chance.

"I'll do it," Jackson offered quickly. Working with April had been the biggest turn on he had ever experienced. She was fierce, she was on fire, and she never even needed the time to focus before going back out into the hospital.

"Actually I would really like to finish. I owe this guys a couple of favors." April wouldn;t let him underestimate her. Not in this OR were she had just dominated.

"Avery, you can supervise. Good work today Kepner. You did us all a service,." He left to scrub out.

"Can I get some music in here?" She asked one of the scrub nurses to plug in her IPOD.

"So is this going to be how it is?" Jackson asked he quietly, not taking his eyes off of her stitching hands. They were flawless. When the music started he grimaced at the sound of country music.

"How what's going to be?" She was already defensive.

"Are you going to ignore me whenever we are in the same room together, by the way haven't you always hated country?" When she looked up at him, he laughed at her chargined expression.

"Jackson, you hated country. When I agreed with you I just didn't want you to think that I am a dork." Her eyes flashed to the gallery, finding it empty she let out a sigh of relief. He noticed her avoidance of the question and respected it.

"Apes, you were never a dork." The look he gave her was tender, but she was focused on her final stitches. He took the moment to observe her. "I hope that despite all of this, you have had a nice birthday. Did you have any plans?"

"Just a hot date with my bed," She grinned as she told the nurses that he was ready to go to the ICU. This had been the first time she had felt like she really had potential in trauma., despite the overwhelming emotions that came with it.

They scrubbed out in companionable silence. Until the whole situation got to her. She went from laughing hysterically to crying within seconds. Jackson was able to put his arms around her before she collapsed.

"Shhh, it's okay, I have got you." He let her cry. Jackson stroked her hair, and despite her tears he relished having her in his arms. "Talk to me April, you're going to make yourself sick."

"I spoke with Gary Clark, I talked to him Jackson. I was with when he pulled the plug on his wife, then later I watched him shoot Derek. Then I talked with him as he had a gun pointed at my chest. And I begged him for my life. I had to beg a stranger not to pull the trigger." She made it sound like a story from someone else's life. He felt his heart sink to his stomach.

"It was my TA and it wasn't what you thought." Jackson blurted to her in the heat of the moment, when April opened her mouth to talk to him, he cut her off. "She told me one kiss, one kiss and she would boost my paper to an 'A'. Never have I regretted a moment so much in my life. But at the time April, God I was so consumed with the need to be perfect." April allowed more tears to fall as she stared into his chest.

They both fell silent. They had so much to say,so much to talk about, but they also knew that they had time. When tilted her head up to look at him, she found his lips only a breath away. "I need to tell you something JAckson," Her words were a whisper.

They both jumped up as someone barged into the scrub room. April was relieved when they were interrupted by Alex Karev. She was surprised however when he bounded on her.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

April froze. Jackson didn't like his tone, "Hey man why don't you back off."

"This has nothing to do with you Avery. Kepner you saved my life, and then didn't tell anyone." He snapped at her.

"Alex, it wasn't anybody else's business." April was so tired, and this is the last thing she wanted to deal with at the moment.

"I would have wanted to know! You're a second year who has been on my service, and I should have known the moment I woke up, I had to hear it from a group of cops who thought you were some huge badass."

Then April was angry, "Why? So you would feel bad about making me the fourth years personal punching bag. No thanks. I'm not like you guys, I wasn't born for this. I had to fight tooth and nail to get here. To stay here. So excuse me if I wanted to keep my head out of the line of your line of fire. Cristina would have had a field day. The virgin jokes had been enough. I don't need your fucking pity." And with that April walked away.

"Dude, you couldn't back off. You ambushed her, it's been emotional for all of you. But you need to back off." Jackson had always been quick to jump to April's defence.

Alex exhaled, defeated. "I was a jerk. We did mock the fact that she was a virgin. I did tell her she had no friends. When she was on my rotation, I called her Jane, as in Plain Jane. She saved me anyway."

Jackson smiled affectionately at the thought about the redhead, "April has always been that way. She somehow manages to rise above and be better than all of us. When I first met her, it was because she punched my best friend in the face because he was being a douche. She was a little tipsy at the time, but still."

"Did she know that you were in love with her?" Jackson looked at the now smug looking Alex Karev and glared. He didn't respond as he shoved past in the opposite direction of the redhead.

"Oh yah, the new boy is whipped." Karev's laughter echoed in the small room.

* * *

8:30 AM April 25, 2014

"Sweets, did you still want to go to the zoo today?" April asked Charlotte as she made breakfast.

"Yeah! Thanks mom. I get to do a project on any animal I want, and I decided to do turtle. Do you think that we can see them mom?" Aprils daughter continued to ramble throughout their morning routine. It was one of the rare inservice days at Charlotte's school, so April was taking advantage of the fact that they had the same day off.

April loved the hospital, but it would always be second to her daughter. It also helped that she wouldn't run into Jackson at the zoo. She hadn't been able to ignore what he told her. Despite the fact that she had held onto the thought of him cheating on her for so long, she believed him. April had even met his Chemistry TA, Stephanie Edwards, and she had been a huge bitch. She was currently at a standstill though. She loved him, but was scared. She need to to tell him about Charlotte, but she was terrified.

She sighed as she started the car and drove her and her daughter to the Seattle Zoo. It was one of the months rare sunny days, and April was basking in the glory of the sunshine. Suddenly, a truck had swerved into her lane, she was frozen in the front seat of her car as everything went black.

* * *

10:30 AM April 25, 2014

Jackson had been surprised to hear the 911 page that woke him up from his power nap, telling him to go to the skills lab. He was the first to join Dr. Hunt at a lab table, "What's up?" When Torres and Shepard joined them, he was only more confused.

"This information is not to leave this room until we are done with the surgery, got it?" They all nodded as they heard the Owen's serious tone.

"You three are the only people in this hospital who won't gossip about this, I need you to remain that way, at least for the next 8 hours. April Kepner and a passenger were in a head on collision accident this morning. Dereck, you are on point with me on this one. Callie, you will probably just have a bone to set," Jackson was unable to keep his voice study when he responded.

"Why am I here?"

"You will be assisting Callie. I know it's not cardio, but you're my only option." Jackson nodded before Callie lead him into a trauma room. He held the tears at bay, never being more scared in his life.

The moment they walked through the door they heard a tearful voice, "Where is my mom." Callie only hesitated a moment before responding to the child with an appropriate bedside manor.

"Your mom's getting fixed up right now."

Jackson froze when he saw the beautiful child. She had gorgeous light brown skin, and even more beautiful blue eyes. She was him. She was his. If you saw them apart, you wouldn't make the correlation, but as they sat side by side, they were twins. Well, they were father and daughter. Jackson couldn't count all the emotions that coursed through him at that moment.

Jackson had no idea how he was able to manage composing himself so quickly. Jackson moved to stand beside where she was sitting on the bed, "What's your full name sweetheart?" He knelt down so that they were eye level.

"Charlotte Catherine Kepner." It came out slowly, teary, and with an occasional hiccup; it was all April. He felt like he had been punched in the stomach as he heard his own mothers middle name. Humbled, yet prideful at the same time.

"How old are you Charlotte?" To any other medical personnel it would have sounded like he was trying to get a medical history.

"Almost seven. Are they fixing my mommy in surgery? That's where she always fixes people." Jackson breathed out, relieved that she had grasped this concept.

"That's exactly where mommy is sweetheart." Callie remained silent through the exchange, impressed by Avery's ability to distract the child, she excuse herself for the moment, needing to speak with one of their nurses. Before Jackson could ask Charlotte the question Charlotte had one for him.

"Are you the man in the picture?" Jackson looked to Callie, who was now standing outside there room, talking to nurses.

"You mom has a picture of me?" Jacksons breath caught in his throat, she knew him. Charlotte nodded.

"It was on the beach, she was holding an baby turtle and you were laughing. It's my favorite." Charlotte eyed him warily, as though she had already known that he was the man in the picture. Jackson knew the exact moment she was referring to, it had been the day after they made love for the first time, and in the moment Jackson was the happiest he had ever been. He smiled bitterly. "Turtles are my favorite, I was going to do a report on them, we were going to the zoo."

Jackson quickly memorized that fact, and was already factoring himself into helping with her homework. Callie returned to take them to get XRAYs Charlotte latched on to him, not letting go of his hand. He whispered into her ear, "I'm not going anywhere Charlotte."

After getting her arm xrayed and set, Charlotte was given a clean bill of health and a bright pink cast. Jackson, stayed true to his word and didn't leave her side. It was all he could do not to cry when Hunt told them him that all they could do now was wait. Charlotte however, was unable to hold in her tears at the news and threw herself into his arms. They had been given a private room, Hunt had insisted, slightly confused as to why Jackson was shouldering the responsibility of Kepner's kid.

Charlotte was finally asleep and in bed when Lexie Sloan marched through the doors. Jackson watched from his corner chair as she sank to the ground in relief. Jackson could only presume that the new about the accident had gotten out.

When Lexi saw that Jackson was in the room she was surprised, "what are you doing here?"

Jackson struggled with what to say, not wanting his business all over the hospital, "I figure if April knows that her kid is alright, than she can focus more on getting better." He also knew that he never wanted to leave her side again. Jackson decided hours ago that he wasn't going to be mad. That he didn't have a reason to be. Jackson decided in this moment that they were going to be a family one day. He was finally going to marry April Kepner.

"Do you mind sitting with her? I have to make a couple of calls." Jackson needed to get together a plan of attack for April's recovery.

Lexi could only nod as they switched places, unable to even question his motives for being with them. Jackson made his way into an empty on call room, for the first time since he had seen his daughter he had hesitated. He decided to bite the bullet as he looked at the number he had stored in his phone everytime he got a new one. His heart rate picked up as the phone rang.

"Hello," a high pitched voice chirped from the end of the line. He almost lost his nerve, "Hello?"

"Mrs. Kepner? I need to tell you something."

* * *

7:30 PM April 25, 2014

Jackson had intended to call his mother after he spoke with the Kepners, however his anger had taken his ability to be calm, and he figured that his mother did not deserve his ire. He made his way to the cafeteria, scowl on his as he moved to find his daughter something to eat.

Jackson was about to make his way out of the noisy room after finding something edible for Charlotte. He heard a group of residents that made him stop in his tracks.

"Who would have thought that the Virgin Mary, wasn't actually a virgin. Maybe it was an immaculate conception." Jackson flexed his hands trying to control his anger against the resident that was often on his service.

"I will be the first to admit that we had totally misjudged that one. I wonder if the kid shares the annoying voice?" Jackson could handle the comments about April, he could take a deep breath and walk away. What he couldn't allow was somebody talking bad about his little girl.

"Yang. Shut up," He cut her off, but was really addressing the whole fourth year group. "You're insecure. It's kind of funny actually, the fact that you are so threatened by a second year. Don't get me wrong, you should be. She managed to save Karev with nothing but an armful of supplies. She is also scheduled out for months because of how many attendings want them on their service. I think what bothers you mos is that none of you can get your heads out of your asses long enough to remember-"

"Okay Avery, lets take a walk," Mark walked up quickly, trying to defuse the situation. He ushered him out of the room and into an empty hallway. Marks eyes followed the man, genuine concern in his eyes as Jackson kicked a trash can over.

"God Dammit!" Jackson dropped the food, sat down and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, willing his suffocating emotions away. He just wanted April to wake up. He wanted her to wake up, because without her he couldn't fucking breathe.

"Look Avery, I know that you are worried about Kepner-"

"Thats just it Sloan, you don't know what's going on." Jackson interrupted angrily.

"Then tell me Avery, or tell someone; because this, whatever it is is eating you alive." He hesitated before putting his hand on Jackson's shoulder,confused as to why he was so on edge. When he didn't shrug it off, Mark sank down beside him.

"I told her everyday after I realized it, I would tell her I loved her, but I never showed her. I was selfish," Once Jackson started the words came tumbling out of him.

" I was so caught up in proving that I could be an Avery. She never cared about that though, the name, the money, any of I screwed up and I let her walk away before I could fix it. I didn't even realize how empty I felt until it was too late. She's here, and I miss her even more now. She's here and she has a kid, but it's my kid too. And I can't fucking breathe, and I can't fix it."

Tears were falling from Jackson's eyes, tears of frustration and fear. Mark was stunned, first at Jackson's confession and then his own blindness. Picturing Charlottes face in his mind, Mark could now see her obvious resemblance to the man beside him. He sighed heavily, knowing how much it sucked.

"I had a daughter show up last year. She was 18 and pregnant. I haven't seen her since she gave the baby up for adoption." Jackson whipped his head up to look at him, surprised. Mark continued, "I didn't get the chance to raise her, and knowing Kepner, she would have given you a chance. She wanted to give you a chance, she just didn't no how. So give yourself a chance. Stand up and go back into that room, we have to get our girls fed."

* * *

April 25, 11:45 PM

Jackson jolted awake to the sound of crying, muffled sounds that were like stabs into his heart. He moved to the bed and took the little girl into his arms.

"Shhh, sweetheart, It's gonna be okay, I've got yah." The only thing Jackson could do was hug her. Mark and Lexie had left for the night, leaving them alone in the hospital. Together they had explained to Charlotte that they didn't know when her mommy was going to wake up. She was nearly seven, and despite her intelligence she couldn't wrap her head around what had happened.

"I just want my mommy," She mumbled.

"I know you do Princess. It's gonna be alright." He did his best to soothe her, never having been more thankful for anything than his brief Peds rotation. She eventually had her breathing under control.

"Why are you here? Do you love me and mom?" The questions were so sudden, he was surprised, but his answer was just as quickly on his lips.

"Of course I love you and your mom," He took the moment to kiss her head for emphasis, savoring this first time he had kissed his daughter.

"Will you be my dad?" Jackson did not know how to handle this, on one hand she was his child, but on the other he had no clue how to explain this to her. He took a breath and decided to go with truth.

"I already am your dad." He could do this, he needed to do this.

"Than I hate you!" Charlotte's eyes welled up with tears, and pushed away from his arms with all the strength her one arm could muster.

"Sweetheart listen to me," Jackson needed her to listen.

"You took her away. I asked Santa for a dad and he did a trade, I didn't mean to. I didn't mean for him to take her away." Part of Jackson wanted to laugh at her childish logic, the other knew he couldn't let her blame herself. He pulled her back into his arms.

"No Charlotte, thats not how Santa works. He just want's to make you happy. What happened to mom was an accident. I'm here because it's my turn to take care of you for a little while, and when mommy wakes up, both of us will take care of you."

"Together? You won't leave when mom comes back?"

"Together. Now you missy need to sleep, I am sure it is way past your bedtime." She nodded and hesitated before kissing him quickly.

"Love you Dad," It melt his heart.

"Love you too." He watched her drift to sleep before pulling himself away. He stepped out of the hospital room, not wanting to disturb her sleep, but also afraid of leaving her in the room. He quickly picked up his phone.

As it rang he prayed that it would go to voicemail. It didn't and now he would face the wrath of his mother, "Somebody better be dying know better than to be waking me up." Jackson cringed and couldn't hold in the truth in her secret.

"April Kepner might be." There was silence on the other end of the line. Catherine had adored April, their breakup had ended their friendship, but he knew that if April reached out, his mom would have been there.

"What?" He had her attention. Catherine Avery had become alert the moment she heard April's name.

"She um, she's a resident at Seattle Grace. She was in a car accident, I-"

"I am on my way, I'll be there in the morning. I need to make a few calls, and-"

"Mom, I need you to listen to me. April, her parent's aren't coming, so she needs a mom , and I need you mom because I don't know what to do or say-". Jackson couldn't finish his sentence. Unable to continue at the moment.

"Honey I'm coming, I'll be right there, and you tell April that Mama's coming. Is there anything I can do from my end?" Jackson knew there was one thing he wanted in Boston.

"Do you still have the photo album?" Jackson knew that his mother had a folder of pictures she dubbed, the 'Japril Days'. He was hoping he could go through it with Charlotte.

"I'll look for it, I'll call you when I get to the hospital."

"Mom wait," Jackson could hear her moving through the phone. He paused before laying it all out there, "April has a kid mom. Charlotte, she's almost seven. She is mine mom. She's mine and she is so beautiful and she needs her mom. God, I don't think I can do this."

The silence on the phone was deafening. The pause was brief though, "Jackson Avery, you go back to your little girl. You hold her and tell her everything is going to be all right. I'll also get the necessary paperwork in order. I know you don't want to think about it but we need to be prepared. I just booked my flight, I will be there at 7 am your time. Now get some rest, you know how you get when you're tired."

Catherine hung up on him, despite everything, talking to his mother had made him feel a little more in control. He told himself once again that everything was going to be alright. He would have believed it to, had he not gotten a 911 page to the ICU.

Jackson ran quickly, a nurse had sat down with Charlotte and he sprinted towards the woman he loved, towards home.

When he got there he was greeted by a smiling Derek Shepherd and an awake April Kepner. He took the moment to stare at her, not even noticing Derek leaving the room. He had thought it would be days, maybe even weeks till she woke up, if she had awaken at all. Fate didn't completely hate him. She looked beautiful, even with her tangled mess of curls and a bruised face; few things could compare with this moment.

Jackson wasn't prepared, he had so much to say and didn't know where to start, "She's asleep-"

"Jackson I was going to tell you. I was going to tell you and let you make your own decision from there. I wasn't trying to hide her I swear." The last thing Jackson needed was for April to panic.

As Jackson reached for her hand he assured her that he was not angry with her, that he understood where she had come a few moments he continued to stare at her. He was shocked at her next words, "I love you-"

"What? April sweetheart, we have so much time. We do not have to do this now." Jackson wouldn't deny that he loved hearing the words. He savored them.

"That's the problem Jackson, we think we have all the time in the world but we don't. When I was with Gary Clark, Jackson, I thought of you.I thought of the family I wanted us to be. You, me Charlotte. So now I'm telling you. When you I first saw you outside of the hospital, I wanted to jump you, and when you held me I knew I still loved you. I knew I forgave you. So there it is Jackson-"

He cut her off by lightly pressing his lips to hers, he pulled back and whispered, "I love you April. I love you, I love Charlotte, and we are a family. Established the word and we make it official." The mood was suddenly light.

"Jackson Avery, will you marry me?" April giggled

"As long as I kiss you everyday, you can have whatever you want," Because forever shouldn't have to wait, he said to himself, leaning in to kiss her again..\ Suddenly he pulled back and April pouted.

"Where are you going?" She was a demanded.

"To get Charlie, she needs to be in on this."

She shook her head as she called after him, "It's Charlotte!"

A/N: Let me know! xoxo


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